18 seconds into their latest commercial, Quizno's reminds us that they have what every Asian chick loves: "uber meat".
"It's not lacking any meat. And that's what real women need!" (maniacal giggle)
The casting director was all like, "You dirty little minx, you're gonna swallow this big, meaty sub and you're gonna love every minute of it."
Meanwhile, Subway has Jared, whose dramatic weightloss reminds us that those extra pounds may not be the only reason you're not getting laid.
Here's to hoping the next Quizno's spot involves ping pong balls.