In the most anticipated turd since the day after my corn feast last month, "The Astronaut Farmer" from Warner Brothers hits theaters this Friday. This movie is about a farmer who builds a space shuttle in his barn. And you know what his name is? Farmer. Brilliant! It's gold! Greenlight it! And hey, doesn't Bob still owe me an 8-ball from a couple days ago?
Watching the trailer, you expect it to end with "Based on a True Story", but it doesn't. And you know why? Because without even giving it a conscious thought, your senses recoil at the idea that someone would be dumb enough to make up a story about a farmer who builds a space shuttle in his barn.
The official synopsis says that Billy Bob's character has "a degree in aerospace engineering, was a natural for NASA's astronaut training program, and was well on his way when a family situation forced him to drop out and return home."
Oh, my mistake, you're right, that totally makes sense now.
I tried to build a battleship in the shed one time, but the neighbors made me get rid of it 'cause they said the smell was lowering their property values. In retrospect, I probably should've made it out of, like, metal.
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