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Why is he tingling all over? Someone came all over his hair?

Kind of a Tease Business

"BLAAAH!"
"BLAAAH!"
"BLAAAH!" (finger point)
"BLAAAH!" (finger point)

I move that both these guys be ground up and fed to starving African children. And that those African children then be dissolved in vats of acid, just in case.

Later in the interview, O'Reilly went on to say:

So anyway I'd be rubbing your big boobs and getting your nipples really hard, kinda' kissing your neck from behind...and then I would take the other hand with the falafel (sic) thing and I'd put it on your pussy but you'd have to do it really light, just kind of a tease business...

Knut the Bear Update

I didn't think it was possible, but someone found an even cuter picture of Knut the bear.

By the way, can we add an umlaut to this little fucker's name or put an 'E' at the end or something? No way should an animal that cute ever be referred to as "Nutt", even if by accident.

Oh, and when he reaches sexual maturity, can we get him to somehow impregnate a black chick? Think about it, a half polar bear half black baby - how cute would that be!

Yahoo Rescues Spoiled White Bitches in Need

Yahoo Helps Sorority Sluts

"On Yahoo TV this week, we'll buy a TV and setup WiFi for some sorority sluts who spent all their parents' money on flavored condoms and puffy paint. ;( College is hard!"

Yahoo, I salute you. While baby seals were being clubbed to death for their fur, children were being raped to death in Africa, and innocent babies contracted cancer and bled profusely from the eyes, you found a truly worthwhile charity case: college chicks.

Like your mother, that's something I can get behind.

I started a charity once. It was called "Fatties Need Lovin' Too". We took our donations in the form of Jager shots.

The World's Best Piece of Writing. Ever.

Normally I wouldn't post something written by someone else... Okay, maybe I would. Look, all I'm saying is that I would let whoever wrote this rape my mother. It is amazing. I would put a puppy in a blender to have written this.


Source

Christmas Comes Early for Douchebags!

Do the delight of stripe-shirted dicklickers all over New Jersey, Entourage is back on the air this Sunday - just in time for Easter! This is exactly the kind of thing God miracled Jesus' ass out of that cave for!

Hopefully this season will be quotable so Chuck and Bill in sales have something to say to each other in between rounds of "Gun Fingaz!" Thinking is hard!

"Dude, Turtle is just like my roommate Steve! This show is so awesome!"

Seriously though, can someone tell me what the fuck is up with Piven's hair? Motherfucker was 50% bald like ten years ago.